THE END OF AN ERA--ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY

Hi, Hello.

Recently (and by that I mean about a month ago) it was my very last day at the Assisted Living Facility that I've worked at since mid 2016. It was a sad day. It was a happy day. Mostly sad though 😂 I went from CNA to Med Tech to assistant to the manager over the CNAs. The growth of not only myself but the facility is something I am truly honored to be able to watch. I got to meet and care for very very very many residents, who in turn, made me realize very many important lessons in life and about myself. I've honestly been putting off writing this for a while because I knew it would be a difficult one. But, I would like to voice my story on being a CNA and my journey of how I got to be me.

The residents are honestly why I stayed as a CNA/Med Tech for long. If it wasn't for certain residents keeping me going, I would have left a long time ago, for good. I, in fact, did leave for a few months when I started the job at the hospital. Then when I realized, I could do both jobs, I took the assistant job. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I learned so many valuable lessons about the real world, about business and how not everything you see from your supervisors is everything that there is. I grew up a lot and I am grateful for that. If it wasn't for the manager that I was the assistant for, I probably wouldn't have stayed in that position for as long as I did. But I loved working with her, we we're so in-synch and we both knew exactly what we wanted collectively and we supported each other through thick and thin.

When I started as a CNA I was about to graduate high school, I just got my CNA certificate. A classmate recommended me to apply at the assisted living facility she worked at and I did, interviewed and got hired on the spot. I was ecstatic, I couldn't believe that I was so lucky! I loved working there right away and I connected with Memory Care the most. It still has such a special spot in my heart. Unfortunately, my mental health was in such a bad spot during this time in my career there. I was really struggling, I could tell my work ethic was struggling as well. My mental health was so awful that it was the peak of my suicidal ideation and depression. I remember at times being so overwhelmed, crying while toileting residents that were bed bound because I didn't have time to go somewhere else and collect my feelings. I remember times when I would cry in the elevator on my way to toilet a resident or answer call lights. I remember many times, on the ride home, my best friend and I would just cry silently, not saying a word. (She worked there as well). This was for many reasons; caregiver burn out, resident to aide ratio (don't get me started) and my mental health.

When I decided to apply for another job (the hospital) I thought it was meant to be. I had always wanted to work in mental health and I thought this was the perfect opportunity. I was so sad to leave and it turned out, my very favorite resident passed away on my very last shift. I like to think that she was holding out for me to be ready with her. When she passed it was kind of like everything came in full circle. She was the first resident I said hello to and the last resident I said goodbye to. I decided to come back after a few months of working at the hospital knowing that it wouldn't be the same after my favorite resident passed but I missed all the other residents and couldn't stay away for too long! I came back and not too long after, I got the job to be the manager's assistant.

Being the assistant supervisor had it's challenges and triumphs. It was exciting to be on the other side of the "food chain" but it was also a daily struggle of trying to get the aides and medtechs to respect and listen to me. After a while my manager and I got into a great rhythm and it felt like after a few weeks or months of things going great, we'd have everything go off the deep end and we'd have to pick up the pieces again. It was a vicious cycle but I think thats normal. I truly feel like we improved a lot at that facility and it was honestly such a breath of fresh air. The amount of teaching and trainings we did were amazing and I am so proud that we were able to do so much. Even though we felt a lot of the times that nothing we did was ever good enough, the fact that we had each other for support was so important.

Leaving that facility was a lot of mixed emotions and I still think about everyone there on a daily basis. I always wonder what everyone is doing, if all of my residents are okay, if the place is falling apart without me lol. In the end, I love that facility, no matter how many mental breakdowns, freak outs, panic attacks, crying sessions, happy tears, sad tears, frustrations and messed up situations happened there. After years of BM/Blood/Urine/Tear stained scrubs, it was time to move onto becoming a nurse! It was a place of love, sadness, laughter, growth and it is a part of how I came to be. You never know, I may come back at some point in my life. I am always open to them for trainings, meetings and maybe a few CNA shifts here and there but for now, I am a nursing student.