HAVING LOVED ONES WHOM DON'T BELIEVE IN MENTAL ILLNESSES

HAVING LOVED ONES WHOM DON'T BELIEVE IN MENTAL ILLNESSES

Loved Ones. Friends. Family. Significant Others. They shape us to who we are and they influence our lives on a daily basis. We believe them when they tell us the truth because we trust them. Why wouldn't we? Many of my loved ones don't believe in mental illnesses. Or rather they don't understand mental illnesses. Which is okay, they don't have to understand the illnesses or even believe in them. That's fine, but if they're going to love you and spend their life with you (a person with mental illnesses) then they should at least try. Try to understand, try to believe. If they choose to stay in their oblivious little world that's fine too, just know that you don't have to keep them in your life if you don't want them there.

My journey with mental illness started in 7th grade, Junior High. My best friend was struggling with depression and of course I didn't know what that was, all I knew was that I could relate to her because I've felt it before. This was also the time of my more rebellious days, the whole "I hate you mom and dad, you ruin my life" type of days. Looking back 7th grade was such a young age for a lot of the things I did. I had my first kiss this year, my first unofficial official boyfriend, my first sleep over at a friend from school's house. It was also the first time I self harmed. I've struggled with self harm ever since then and I'd like to say that it's gotten better but it's never really gone away. I am more in control of it now but still do struggle with unhealthy thoughts.

I remember telling my mom one morning before school that I needed to take a mental health day because I was depressed and that I needed help. I'm sure she thought I was just trying to get out of school because she told me to go back to bed. My mother and I have a great relationship and we always have, I just believe my lack of communication resulted in misunderstanding and .

My father is a very religious man. My siblings and I were raised in this religion and 2/5 of us are still active members. This religion and many religions I believe are very judgmental and snooty about mental illnesses. It's very taboo in most religions and I never really understood that. So with my father being religious, I never really felt comfortable voicing about my struggles, worried I would feel judged (every time I have voiced my struggles, it has of course, been fine!). As a young child I felt a lot of the time that I needed to be ashamed of my emotions because I had a lot of them. I am a very emotional person and I feel everything. Growing up, I heard a lot of "it's like water off of a ducks back, you've got to let it go". Which can be a very great and beneficial coping skill but, didn't work for me. My father and I also have a great relationship and we always have luckily.

My sisters have both dealt with depression and anxiety. A lot of my healing have been because of my sisters, I am able to open up and talk to them about any issues and they understand what I'm going through and can relate to me. My brothers are a lot like my dad in the sense that they don't fully understand mental illnesses but have probably dealt with them themselves. My best friends also deal with mental illnesses and I'm sure that's why we cling on to each other so dearly because empathy makes the heart grow stronger.

My significant other. He is everything to me but guess what? He doesn't believe in mental illnesses. When he first told me this I was very confused and didn't know what to do. And I know what you're thinking; "why on earth are you with him if he doesn't believe in something that is so important to you?" He doesn't believe in mental illnesses because he doesn't understand them and at first he didn't want to understand them. He was raised in a different religion than my family was and his family are still very much is part of this religion. In this religion mental illnesses are also a taboo (go figure) and his mom doesn't always understand the weird depressing things I share on Facebook but she still accepts me. My significant other has gotten better over the couple years we've been dating and I'm grateful for that. Trust me there has been many fights unresolved because sometimes you have to just pick your battles. And in this instance my battle is my significant other not understanding why I do the things I do. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this man and I don't plan on giving up the battle anytime soon.

So, even if your loved ones don't understand your (or anyone else's) mental illnesses, it's okay. You can still love them and they can still love you. It will be a struggle, a hard one. You will hate it and so will they. You can't choose family a lot of the time but you can choose who you keep in your life and who surrounds you. Getting the right help and educating yourself and your loved ones on mental health will help you and them in the long run. Just remember, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you do. You are important and worthy of happiness and love. Don't sell yourself short and keep your head up.

Thanks for reading,

UnordinaryBlogger